Monday, July 4, 2011

And so I sit and reflect

Reality sometimes only presents itself in the midst of reflection. That is… you really don’t know what you’ve just experienced until you’ve removed yourself from the current setting and given yourself a moment to think. I come to sit and think on this park bench every Sunday to get a taste of what this Peace Corps lifestyle is truly feeding me. No one is here, the breeze always accompanying me and the distant hillsides blanketed with pine trees and green grass center me in the midst of God’s great nature. It is an hour of my week that is definitely one of those spiritual doses I cherish.
Yesterday I played in the river with 4, fourteen-year old “Tom Fooleries.“ They are the bread and the butter of my work in the neighborhood of Ojo de Agua. Together we dream about who we want to be when we grow up; we construct compost bins from scrap wood and reincarnated nails; we draw pictures of each other with big ears and mo-hawks; we dance off rocks down at the river and tear apart mangos with voracious appetites; we truck rain water in 5 gallon buckets when the clouds open up and spill water upon the tin roofs; and we celebrate cooking large amounts of rice and beans. I can call this reality for us... when we spend time together, but what is the reality when we are alone... when we are individuals on this island.
I think about adolescent Jason sharing a room with his mother and 7 brothers and cousins; His mom usually smoking and watching telenovelas when she isn’t cooking up a pot of spaghetti and yucca for the bottomless stomachs of teenaged boys. Where does Christopher go and what does he contemplate when he has the house to himself from 7:30 in the morning to six at night. When Kelvin is woken up by his grandma at the crack of dawn what is his first chore for the day. When Alex is not spraying out vulgar vocab at his younger brother and sister, what does he imagine he will say next. These four young teens spend a lot of time at my house and we almost always are enjoying ourselves and trying to learn something new in the process, but who are we and what is reality when we must be alone. I sometimes think that God has blessed me with the opportunity to provide these young men with many moments together where they can escape from some of the daily challenges they face in poverty. However, I realize that my role as a Peace Corps Volunteer and friend is not necessarily act as an escape or refuge, but rather a school of thought; an open environment where curiosities can be explored and positive reflection cultivated. I reflect when I run. Into the sunset every evening, or when I come up to this hill and sit on a park bench overlooking the magical formations of the Caribbean’s tallest mountain range. The reality of my experience becomes more clear.

I thought that perhaps when we went down to the river yesterday to swim and eat mangos, the spiritual wonder of God’s nature would offer that moment of reflection away from the noise and sometimes harsh environment of these gentlemen’s homes. However, our secure play time in nature was interrupted by a gun battle between a fleeing narco-trafficer and the local police. This is the reality in which these young men live. Drugs and drug dealers are part of the fabric that exists in their daily life.

Though these realities can appear to be large stains on the fabric we call life, I work to teach kids like Christopher, Jason, Kelvin, and Alex that they have every capability and potential to supersede these stains. They already live carefree and lively being the “Shenanigan” young boys that they are, but I see greater need to reflect so that that free energy can be focused on those positive dreams and future occupations that will carry them to a state of thinking and high self-esteem that out-does the ugliness of poverty. And so I sit and reflect.